Out with the Old, In with the New

Saying Goodbye to 2012

As 2012 comes to a close I am sad and disappointed in myself that I didn't do the things I said I was going to do this year for weight loss. But I'm letting that go because I can't change the past, I can only change the future.

30 Days to Break a Habit

It's the general consensus that it takes 30 days to break a habit and after that it should be all good. I've had some success with this in the past breaking 2 bad habits (both work related) so I've decided that for each month in 2013 I'm going to break a bad habit or start a good habit. I'll post my plans at the beginning of the month and my progress at the end.

In December I gave up caffeine (specifically dark soda). Since I don't drink a lot of white soda by soda consumption in December was 1 can of Sprite and 1 sip of Dragon Fruit Pepsi. I'm counting this as a success because I never would have had even a sip of dark soda if my cousin wouldn't have accidentally bought Dragon Fruit Pepsi and I wanted to try a sip for myself to see if it was a disgusting as he said it was. (It was.) I don't find myself craving soda like I did before. And not having any caffeine has definitely had a positive impact on me.

Looking Ahead to 2013

2013 is going to be a very different year for me. I'm talking a 5 month course to get my teaching certificate. I have debated this decision long and hard. It's quite a bit of money, and no guarantees, but I've wanted to be a teacher off and on most my life. It's something I think I would be good at plus it has the benefits of having off for the holidays and the summer. Which would be a huge bonus for me as my family lives elsewhere. 

I'm a little nervous about this endeavor. It's going to eat up a lot of my free time. And I hate that and it's already stressing me out and I haven't even started yet. It definitely helps to know that it's only 5 months, and the ends justify the means. I'm also a little worried that I'll be doing all this, and then I won't be get a teaching job. Then what? I know I can't worry about things like that because that's silly, but it's still there, in the back of my head.

I had no other complaints about 2012 it was a great year, and I hope 2013 is filled with more of the same!

7 Days No Soda and Still Feeling Good!

Quitting soda is hard. It's by far one of my biggest weaknesses. But as I hit the 7 day mark and I see soda I'm pleased that I really don't feel a burning urge to drink it. I went grocery shopping and passed by the soda isle without a glance. It's a great feeling.

My eating habits weren't so great this week, which leads to no weight loss (or gain) but as I've accomplished something in giving up soda I'm not going to beat myself up over it too much. I'm just going to move forward and work on my eating habits one day at a time.

I'm excited to say that Zumba will begin again this week. It's one of my favorite activities and it was hard when I wasn't able to go.

I've done it before... I can do it again!

November was an absolute failure. I'm just feeling very lazy. I know that's no excuse, but it is what it is. I'm working on changing my attitude for December and beyond. I've also decided it's time to give up soda (again). I've given up soda twice, once for one month and a second time for about 3 months. Right now I drink 2-3 cans a day, 150-450 calories a day, which are calories that can be much better spent.

I know we're 2 days into December already, but this is going to be my December goal. I've told myself for a long time that I will "ween" myself, but honestly that is so not working out for me. I'm just going cold turkey (which is what I've done before) and hoping that everything will go well. I've got my Advil ready.

I also have a doctors appointment in one month as a follow up to my weight loss. I'm tempted to change it as my weight loss isn't going well (or at all) but that's a cop out so I won't. But that means I have a lot of work to do before my appointment to show an improvement. But I know I can do this, so I will.

A New Plan of Attack!

Obviously things have not been going well. I’ve been a little stressed, and when I’m stressed I eat. And yes, I know this is bad! It’s just that I seem to want ALL THE FOOD when I do not need ALL THE FOOD. I was feeling bad about the test I took last Saturday and my immediate response was chips and Ho-Ho’s (my current drug of choice). I realize that I should have done something (anything) else, but I didn’t.

I also haven’t been working out like at all. Last week I missed both Zumba’s because I was studying for my test. This week I didn’t feel like going Monday, couldn’t go Tuesday, though I am 100% committed to going tomorrow. I haven’t been to the Y in forever before work and that has to change. This will be a pretty easy fix I think. Time change was last Sunday, so I’m still waking up at last weeks time. I haven’t been to the Y any morning this week because of other things, but I am still getting up early.

Now on to the plan of attack! Every month I’m going to set a mini goal. If I succeed my mini goal I will reward myself with a book.

My mini goal for November (excluding the first 6 days) is to get up and work out every morning before work (save Friday 11/9) and attend Zumba on Saturdays or Sunday.

Long term plans are to obviously eat better and work out and start losing weight, but I also plan to do progress reports on Mondays.

Since I missed Monday this week here is where I stand. I didn’t weigh myself this morning so the number may be off a little. We’ll see what happens Monday.

A Stressful Month

I’m finally starting to lose some weight, which feels great. Unfortunately October is turning out to be a crazy month, this coming week especially. Next weekend is the readathon so I’m doing two weeks of schedules this week. On top of that my cousin and his fiancé will be moving in next Sunday for a few months so I have a lot to do to get ready for them. And all this is in addition to the math test that I’m scheduled to take November 3 that I have zero interest in studying for.

I’m really struggling with that right now and I’m kind of grateful that there is so much going on so that I have a reason for not studying. This stuff is really hard and it’s not sticking that easily and I don’t want to put forth the effort to do it. But I’m worried that if I just go in with a middle school math test it limits my possibilities too much and I might be doing all this and not getting a job.  Which scares the hell out of me. I’m afraid of throwing good money after bad.

I’m not as afraid of taking the class, the material will be new and structured which is more my thing. But it does mean that I’ll have a lot less time for fun things. But in the end I know it’ll be worth it, so I want to do it. I just don’t know what to do about this math thing. Part of me just wants to forget it and cancel the test and get half my $ back. Part of me wants to just see if I can start the class and push back that test date so I have more time, but I’m not sure if that’ll help since I don’t really want to study for it anyway.

I hate having to make big decisions.

So Frustrated!

This month is going awful! I have gained weight back (approximately 5 lbs), I’m not ready for my test, I found out I have to take another test, and I’m still not sure this is the right thing to do! On top of all this I have to replace at least one window in my house. I’m also adjusting to having my cousin and his fiancé living with me. It’s only for a few months but I’m used to living on my own so it’s an adjustment. But I know it’ll be fine.

Whew! I feel better now! It looks like for the next two weeks I’ll be studying like a mad hatter for this math test. I really hope I pass, but I desperately hope I never teach calculus.

Heading Back to Lose It!

My Fitness Pal just wasn’t the right fit for me. Part of it could be that I am just used to how things work on Lose It! But I had some trouble with the calories that were showing up in foods and how the exercise calories were figured out as well. A lot of times the exercise calories didn’t make any sense. I know a couple of my friends use it, and the added support would be great, but I’m just not happy with how the rest was working so it’s back to Lose It!

Trying out My Fitness Pal

Two of my fellow book blogger friends you My Fitness Pal so I decided to make the switch from Lose It! I’ve used Lose It! a couple times in the past and liked it, but after a week of using My Fitness Pal I think I like it a bit more. The food database seems to be bigger so I have yet to enter my own foods. It’s also easy to use.

My one complaint is that the calories for exercising seem a little off to me, as there is no choice for light, moderate, heavy in the cardio. My Fitness Pal calculates my calories burned on the elliptical at 500 for 30 minutes, but the machine, Lose It! and an online calculator have the values calculated between 300-350 which is more in range. This means I will have to adjust the calories or minutes to get it into the range I think it’s in. Some activities are hard to judge though, but I will err on the side of caution and go with a lower value.

Hopefully this will work out well.  I’ve already lost 3 lbs (though 2 of that was the week before I started losing).  I’m excited to see what the future will bring.

A Big Decision

I’ve wanted to be a teacher for some time, but for various reasons, I’m not. I hold two bachelor’s degrees, neither of which I use or want to teach with. Finance isn’t typically taught at a high school level and my Spanish is no where near good enough to teach it. A couple years ago I took two different math Praxis tests (middle school – passed and high school – did not pass) to work towards getting my certification to teach.
I’d heard from a few different people that they will hire you to teach with out a teaching degree I applied for a few different school districts.  I had one phone call and that was all, which was disappointing, but at the same time I was at a disadvantage because I didn’t have a degree.

Shortly after the school year began another job landed in my lap.  So I’m now working M-F (which is awesome).  So I kind of decided to just leave everything at the status quo.  I like my job and it’s essentially stress free.

But then I found out about this class you can take to get your teacher’s certification.  Which would be a huge help, but it’s pretty expensive too so I wasn’t sure I wanted to pursue it because what if I did it, paid all that money, and didn’t get a teaching job?  Then it would be just as wasteful as the other two degrees that I am still paying for that I don’t use.

But being afraid to do something, to put yourself out there, is a terrible reason not to do something.  That’s the reason why I haven’t had a date in longer than I care to share.  The same reason why I suck at losing weight.  So I decided that I’m going to do it, provided that I pass the high school math praxis because I would much rather teach high school than middle school.

I know that it’s going to require work.  It’s going to be a lot of studying for the math praxis, something that I’m probably going to have to commit to daily, or almost daily, to ensure that I pass.  It’s also going to mean in the spring when I take the class I will have to spend those few months studying as well (in addition to a couple of Saturday classes).

6 years ago before I moved to Virginia I made a final push to get my finance degree at UWW.  I went to school full time (15 credits) and worked full time just so I could finish in May.  It was one of the most difficult things I’ve done, but also one of the best.  If I can do that, I know I can do this.

I know it’ll be worth it when I finish.

The Beginning

I’ve had a book blog for about 9 months and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed doing it.  I’ve been tossing around the idea on whether or not I wanted to start a more personal blog for awhile now and when I found out that my friend Courtney had one I got that final push to start one.  Plus, my birthday is in just a few weeks, so it seems like the perfect place to start.

My goal is to be honest here.  And hopefully become more honest with myself.

One of my biggest problems is that I am a classic self-sabotager.  My second biggest problem is my weight. Both of which come together to form a circle.  I blame lack of success on my weight and I blame my weight on lack of success.  I’m trying to break that cycle.  and get a refresh on life.

I’m not giving myself any deadlines here (because we all know how well THAT works out) but here are some things that I plan on working on/would like to accomplish.

• Raising my self confidence.  I let my weight decide who I am.  I had a lot more confidence 2 years ago when I was 30 lbs lighter than what I have today.
• Lose the weight and keep it off.  I plan on setting some smaller goals for this but all total I’d like to lose about 90-100 lbs.  I don’t need/want to be super skinny, I really just want to buy normal clothes from the normal women’s section.
• Work on my house more.  There are things I want to do to my house but I don’t have a lot of money, time  or the necessary skills to do the things I want to do.  When I started blogging I kind of put the house aside and I need to get back to working on the little things and saving for the big things.
• Work on REALLY sticking to my budget.  A lot of months I come pretty close, except the categories are all off (i.e. I spent $30 extra on books, but nothing for my house).  As a whole it works, but that wasn’t really want the money was supposed to go for, so I think I’m going to start putting that money into a separate savings account so I can use it for it’s intended purpose when I need it.
• Since I’d like to actually get married someday, I am going to have to make an effort to actually date.  I don’t care for dating, but it’s a necessary evil and since I don’t have a fairy godmother to make all my wishes come true it looks like I’m going to have to suck it up and do it.  I’m not sure where I am going to start with this one.
• Whatever else pops into my head!

I hope that a month from now, a year from now, ten years from now I can look back on this and see the changes, and be happy with them.